Thursday, January 6, 2011

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 5, No. 1

Happy belated New Year!

The one that passed was a good one for me in terms of people I met, dealing with the family and finally moving out into my own spot... The joys of falling up!

"dream bout that crib with the Goodyear swing
on the oak tree, I hope we feel like this forever
Forever, forever, ever, forever, ever?" - Outkast

But this year starts on a bad note as my father came up to me and told me 2 days ago that after getting an x-ray, his doctor stated it might be a tumor...

"you play whatever cards he deal no matter how peculiar
they tell me that its God's will, I'm asking God 'will ya?'" - J. Cole

I froze... Now it's not confirmed yet, but let's just say I spent 2 days seriously out of it... Not mentioning it to anybody else, keeping this pain and fear inside. I tried my best to replace it with prayers and hope, but it's hard. I always think too much... seeing different scenarios in my mind, visualizing my reactions, the outcomes, re-evaluating life in general.

"I say my prayers cause this life ain't fair" - J. Cole

We won't get news until Tuesday when my father has to go for an MRI to confirm whether or not it is a fact a tumor.



"yea, lets see God
I know you only do whats best for me
but is it cool if we negotiate my destiny" - Omen

I'm trying to stay focused until then this is how I feel :



5 days to go...

Monday, November 8, 2010

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 4, No. 1

This whole song describes how I feel :

"Trapped, no shield, no sword
The unbeaten path got my soul so sore
Allured by the lust, something money can't cure
The Devil want me as is, but God he want more
Eyes closed, eyes open, great another day, here we go
like a nigga woke up late in The Truman Show"



I walk alone!

In the words of Clay Davis... Shhheeeeiiiiiiiitttttttttt! (The Wire reference... if you've never seen the show before... you will die an unhappy death :))

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Quotes Vol. 3, No 1

First post of the year... almost 8 months deep already...

Well I'm officially a homeowner, 1200 sq ft of empty space though all to my lonely self

emptiness surrounding me...

"Existing where there is nothing is the meaning of the phrase 'form is emptiness'. That all things are provided by nothingness is the meaning of the phrase 'emptiness is form'. One should not think that these are two separate things." - Hagakure

Don't get me wrong I'm happy of my accomplishment, but damn it's lonely.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Training Progress Vol. 2 No. 001

This is my 3rd, 4th, or 8th attempt at getting fit lol.

But this time around, I have P90X to help me get fit. Plus my cousin did it and actually got results, now it's time for me to get back on track!

I'm already on Day 3 of my work out... that's 87 days to go... O_o

Day 1 was Chest and Back which was cool but still hard and to that add the Ab Ripper X which was harder (especially when you can't keep up lol), but I was good.

Day 2 was Plyometrics... lets just say this 1hr work out took me just about 2 hours lol. Went to sleep and I woke up 13 hours later... Horton did say this was the 'X' in P90X!

Day 3 was alot better, achieved what I was aiming for with the Shoulders and Arms + another round of Ab Ripper X (I still can't keep up but I feel the burn lol).

I'm gonna stick to it this time!

Keep fit and have fun!

Friday, November 20, 2009

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 3, No. 12

Sometimes... if not most times, I feel this way :



My intentions are good, please try to understand me...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Quotes Vol. 2, No. 7

Words of wisdom :
"mas é a sensacao que conta em tudo ....
o que levamos dessa vida... é a vida que vivemos....
e para mim... tudo se resume em termos boas sensacoes... experiencias unicas...." - Marcia do Amaral on 18-11-2009

In other words :
"It is the sensation that counts in everything.... What we take from life... is the life that we live. ... And for me... everything is summarized in terms of good sensations... unique experiences...."
(broken translation, still brushing up on my portuguese)

Monday, November 2, 2009

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 3, No. 11


Today I learned Fido deleted all my saved voicemail messages... They said they couldn't do anything about it.

Two of these messages were from my cousin Vicky, one telling me to wake up, the other wishing me happy birthday... I'm in tears (RIP Vicky)...

Here is another regret to add to the already long list... I should have recorded those messages...

I'm sorry cousin...