How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 3, No. 6

just came back from playing wingman for a friend...

"I've got an eye out for she who cries out passionately
We'll do things backwardly, forwardly, horizontally
I'm too young to be settling down
quick to change my mind tomorrow" - Outkast

spent an hour in the club... I realized I ain't cut for this ish no more, felt out of place the whole night. Felt old and surpassed by events and trends... 28 yrs old...

"Now I'm feeling out of touch like I'm two steps behind" - Classified

I feel like settling down is the way to go...

"Critics and fans, they need to get a life
You doin' the right thing, settle down, get a wife now
I grew with you so you know you make me proud
And most of all you gotta live now" - Nas

but... lil' detail, I don't have the chick for it to happen...

"Mrs. So-Fly crash-lands in my room
Can't waste no time, she might leave soon
[...]
I wish this song would really come true
I admit I still fantasize about you" - Kanye West

In the mean time concentrating so much on work and getting blamed for it...

"I got plans,
I got a certain lust for life,
And as it stands,
Everything is going as right,
As it can,
They tryin' to shoot down my flight,
Before it lands" - Drake

I'm just being me and get blamed for it...

"Why they always looking at me, like there's something on my face man
No matter where I go, I'm always feeling out of place
And I know I'm not your regular I got a different taste
Probably 'cause most my life, spent right in my basement
I didn't watch the Super Bowl, don't drink alcohol
Don't carry I.D., don't go to the mall
I'm extra argumentative and really good at fast talk
I can't dance or sing but I can rap my ass off" - Eyedea

No... I can't rap my ass off...

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 3, No. 5

"Take a picture, cherish it, I'm God's Son, inherence it" - Nas

Yup, I got it and ready to shoot!!!

Music Inspires Music

Man, I love it when I see something or someone and a song pops up in my head, or when I hear a song and try to find out where the sample came from or which other artist used it. It all gets my mind running all over the place and can't really focus until I find and listen to that one song I'm looking for... or until I forget about it...

Those moments sometimes give me a fresh take on a song I already heard either by seeing how it could have inspired someone else, or how much more I should appreciate a specific song.

This dude here went bananas and did a piano cover of Nas's Untitled album...

Made me want to listen to the whole album again (which I am doing right now... WTF do u mean u didn't listen to it yet???? COP THAT ALBUM!!!). Also makes me want to learn to play the piano, I should really look into it... even though I don't have one at home... I need another hobby that will keep me focused and enrich my mind.

"Music is supposed to inspire" - Lauryn Hill

"Save the music y'all" - Nas

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 2, No. 9

"Yesterday was better off, didn't even know it" - Joe Budden

Yesterday I found a card that my godfather had sent me for christmas. It brought back some sweet memories... My greatest fear has always been to forget and as I get older... 27... er yeah... I tend to reminisce a lot on the past these days. Flashbacks are starting to ressurface at the oddest moments. Smells, words, songs, colours, voices just seem to trigger it all and then I zone out...

"Wow, I need a moment y'all
See I almost felt a tear drop" - Nas

I'm starting to think it can't be healthy for me to live in the past, but how do I embrace it without being obsessed with it... I'm a fiend, everything I like, I end up doing in excess... That's why I knew better than to try drugs... yeah I know, people still have a hard time believing that I never even had a puff before... in this day and age...

"Yesterday belongs to the dead
Tomorrow belongs to the living
The past is certified as a finished product
Anything which has ended is finished
That which is perfect is finished" - Madlib

Maybe that's it... Maybe I was born in the wrong age, maybe that's why I often feel like I don't always fit here... now. Maybe it would explain that I sometimes feel out of sync with most people my age... or maybe it's just me...

"I ask myself what does it mean if you are different
but I am the answer" - Charles Hamilton

I guess I will have to find a just balance between past, present and future...
Keeping the wisdom & memories of the past, living in the present & planning and looking forward to my future... now if I could just get that living in the present part to work out...

"memories dont live like people do
They always 'member you
Whether things are good or bad
Its just the memories that you have
The beenie man a sing (say hey)
Boy stop live down inna de past
Just member when man a ride 'orse
Now yuh dead that mean yuh soul lost" - Beenie Man

Well one day, as I was thinking of the past and the influential people in my life that passed away, I wasted a part of my present, at the time, to make this little bootleg montage...

Hope you can find the time to put a comment...

Fade to 'T.R.O.Y.' by Pete Rock & CL Smooth....

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 2, No. 8

...

"Can we please have a moment of silence?
[...]
As days goes and nights fall
For the rest of our life we'll miss y'all
And even though life must go on, we'll still mourn
While wishin' y'all were home
[...]
And can we please have a moment of truth?
For soldiers and troops away with helmets and boots
And families back home who pray they make it home safe
Hopin' that they don't get hit with a stray or missiles
This is just a moment to let you all know that we miss you" - Nas

Might not be agreeing with the cause, but I respect the job.

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 2, No. 6

wow

Well on this great night, I saw something I never expected to see in MY lifetime. This is one for the books as History is still being written and I am proud to say I was a Witness. I will talk of this moment for years to come.

"If I could find the spot where truth echoes
I would stand there and whisper memories of my children's future
I would let their future dwell in my past
so that I might live a brighter now" - Saul Williams

The moment where the house filled up with my father's loud claims of victory running down two sets of stairs arms in the air to shake us up. The moment I turned my sight away from the tv screen with a large smile and faced him and saw a tear come down from his right eye. Eyes red from the sleep he deprived himself of just to see it all happen. The moment a black man was elected president in another country and how it meant so much to us.

"Here I go again, the same old shit
My mind is still playing tricks
Cause today when I left my residence
I heard we had a new black president
And he wasn't no Uncle Tom
Rudy poo stankin' fetch house n!gga scum
And white folks wasn't planning to murder him kid
Cause they voted for him just like the blacks did
And this might sound reckless
But I got a loan on a brand new Lexus in Texas
If I'm lying I'm dying, everybody was color blind
Went to church and I gotta admit
Walked in, didn't see one hypocrite
It appeared every single soul was reached
Cause the pastor practiced what he preached" - Willie D

I just pinched myself and I wasn't dreaming!

"Some dreams stay dreams, some dreams come true" - Nas

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 2, No. 2

It's Obama's time! The Evolution will be televised!

"They said this day would never come" - Obama

I have great hope to see him make it and change the face of the USA, has hard a job it will be.

"I'm out for presidents to represent me" - Nas

"If I was President, 
I'd get elected on Friday, 
Assasinated on Saturday, 
Burried on Sunday. Then go back to work on Monday" - Wyclef

They might try, but they won't get him. People keep making jokes about assassinations, nothing funny about it because if "He dies we die too" - Nas

"And though it seems heaven sent
We ain't ready, to have a black President, uhh" - 2Pac

"Something is holding me back, Is it because I'm black?" - Syl Johnson


A message To All the detractors, black & white:

"Yes We Can"

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 1, No. 2

Friendship???

Ever had someone you felt was like a sibling turn their back on you.

Act like they don't know you when they see you. Stopped hollering at you. Someone who's back you had when they were short a dollar(s) without expecting to get the money back just coz you knew it wasn't an issue. As soon as they were back on their "feet" (or felt that they were) they just vanish from your entourage, act differently, seem indifferent when you actually get a chance to talk to them. All this making you feel their ungratefulness for all you ever did for them?
Damn... I didn't make you what you are. I didn't bring you up in this world. I especially don't think ur better coz you know me. Never said I had to be ur only friend. Must have been all that talking I was doing... sorry, twas only coz I cared too much when I thought I saw you going down a wrong path... Maybe it fits you. Money wasn't an issue til u made it an issue. Live ur life and live it well, the way u want to live it.

Hey no hard feelings... u know how the saying goes - Born alone, Die alone.

Damn... I don't know if this is real yet, but until I find out, this is how I feel (how 16 yrs plus goes down the drain).


"Yo...I'm seeing a couple things wrong with the way that I'm living
So come and walk with me I just need a second opinion
Introduce you to my friends I got to see if you notice
If they loyal or if they all got an ulterior motive"

-Joe Budden ('Walk With Me')


"*Friends
How many of us have them?
Friends
Ones we can depend on
Friends
How many of us have them?
Friends
Before we go any further, lets be
Friends*

Is a word we use everyday
Most the time we use it in the wrong way
Now you can look the word up, again and again
But the dictionary doesnt know the meaning of friends

And if you ask me, you know, I couldnt be much help
Because A friend is somebody you judge for yourself
Some are ok, and they treat you real cool
But some mistake kindness for bein a fool

We like to be with some, because they're funny
Others come around when they need some money
Some you grew up with, around the way
And you're still real close too this very day

Homeboys through the Summer, Winter, Spring and Fall
And then there's some we wish we never knew at all
And this list goes on, again and again
But these are the people that we call friends"

-Whodini ('Friends')


"Seasons Change, mad things rearrange"
-Lauryn Hill ('How Many Mics')


"If money makes a man strange -- we gots to rearrange
So what makes the world go round"

-De La Soul ('Itzsoweezee')


"The 'Bridge touched me up severely hear me?
So when I rhyme it's sincerely yours
Be lightin L's sippin Coors, on all floors in project halls
Contemplatin war n!ggaz I was cool with before
We used to score together, Uptown coppin the raw
But uhh, a thug changes, and love changes
and best friends become strangers, word up"

-Nas ('The Message')


"Enemies close coz friends switch sides when shit gets live
Dealin' with a lot of pressure I'm in too deep"

-Nas ('In Too Deep')

Done shaking my head. Let's all move on!

Peace and best wishes!

Hold me down... Some more

"Revenge is a dish best served cold"

Question: Is revenge ever the answer? Is it ever justified? It sure sounds sweet... but what kind of satisfaction would I get from it. Would I be satisfied or fiending for more. Would the remorse, if ever there were any, be overwhelming? How many shoves must one take before reaching the center of his rage? Should I stand and watch, waiting for karma to do it's work or swing my sword at whoever I think deserves a good ol' decapitation.

Hold Me Down some more... It's almost over... Isn't it?

Answer?:
Revenge?
"My heart is racin, tastin revenge in the air I let the shit slide for too many years, too many times
Now I'm strapped with a couple of macs, too many nines
If y'all n****z really wit me get busy load up the semis
Do more than just hold it explode the clip until you empty
There's nothin in our way - they bust, we bust, they rust, we rust

Led flyin, feel it? I feel it in my gut" - Nas

"I ain't a killer but don't push me
Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin pussy
Picture paragraphs unloaded, wise words bein quoted
Peeped the weakness in the rap game and sewed it
Bow down, pray to God hoping that he's listenin
Seein n****z comin for me, to my diamonds, when they glistenin" - Makaveli

or Resilience?

"Patiently meditate, I sense your aura in my presence
Killed so savagely, still there's beauty in your essence (I can feel you) you weren't the last, just the first in a succession
Of the many fallen angels I have known, confession
The pain never goes away, it only lessens
The questions never stop, just learn to live in the present
Resilient I got to be so the next breath don't break me
At peace within myself, so no regrets if they should take me" - Mystic

... Whatever the outcome, still gotta ask the Lord for forgiveness...

"And if you feel in my heart that I long for revenge
Please blame it on the son of the mornin', thanks again" - Jay-Z

Bonne Année a tous et toutes... En Retard... Je vous souhaite le plus grand bonheur, la santé, l'amour et la paix. Sans oublier la dollarité...

Happy New Year to all... Late... Wishing you all a year filled with Health, Love, Peace & Happyness. Without forgetting them Dolla Dolla Bills y'all!

Feliz Ano Nuevo... Tarde... Les deseo a todos y todas un ano lleno de Salude, Amor, Paz y Felicidad. Sin olvidar al dinero...

No real resolution for me. Coz I know, for me, things can only get worse... according to my standards... I ain't sayin' I got the worst of lives and I try to thank God everyday for my many blessings, but I like to keep things realistic. Negativity will keep on surrounding me as long as I don't cut certain things and/or people from my entourage. I Sincerely Wish u all the best for 2007!! Peace!

"[...]it's a new year I got a new change of gear,
I swear I can see clear now the clouds disappeared
You forgive but never forget, so the past reappears, uh huh" - Wyclef Jean

"It's up to you to look inside yourself, see what's yours
Consecutive times, New Year's Eve, light off nines in the skylines
Imaginary graves, poor the Henney on it
Share with my dogs who's here, cuz there's so many gone" - Nas

Dreams vol. 1 no. 1

Had this dream last night: I was told my father had died due to some medication he was taking. I went to the hospital looking for answers and hoping to see his body to make sure it was true. As I got the hospital, I asked to see the coroner or the way to the morgue, nobody would pay attention to me or answer my questions. Frustrated out of my mind, I went outsite and went on the roof of the building facing the hospital. I started running teeth clenched, mad out of my mind and jumped towards the hospital. In mid air I actually thought I might not make it, but I eventually landed a couple of floors over the hospital entrance. Once I landed, I tried to break a window and start looking for my father. As I was about to kick through the glass, a bunch of guys jumped through it and started fighting me. Giving me a beat down, could barely stop hits. Thats when I woke up... ran out of my bedroom and saw my dad in the basement with some uncles & cousins there. I came behind my dad as he was sitting and put my arm around him, my hand on his heart, telling him I had dreamt he had died. He kept on talking to the others... Thats when I really woke up. This got me perplexed so I checked the meaning of it all:
+To dream that your father is dead, forewarns that you need to proceed with caution in conducting your business.
+To see a hospital in your dream, symbolizes your need to heal or improve your physical or mental heath. You need to get back to the flow of everyday life.
+To question something in your dream, signifies your suspicions toward a love one.
+To ask a question in your dream, foretells that you will strive to attain the truth.
+To dream that you are jumping, indicates that you need to take a risk and go for it. You will find progress toward your goals
+To dream that you are fighting to the death, indicates that you are unwilling to acknowledge a waking conflict or your own inner turmoil. You are unwilling and refusing to change your old attitudes and habits.
+To dream that you are dreaming, signifies your emotional state. You are excessively worried and fearful about a situation or circumstance that you are going through.
+To dream that you are waking up in your dream, indicates that something is missing or lacking in your life. There is an aspect of your life that you are not utilizing to its fullest potential. You are not recognizing your abilities.
+To see your father in your dream, symbolizes authority and protection. It suggests that you need to be more self-reliant. Consider also your waking relationship with your father.
+To have a visitor in your dream, signifies good news will reach you. It also foretells of new conditions or changes.
+To see your cousin in your dream, represents something or some aspect of your character that is somewhat familiar. Perhaps you need to spend more time in cultivating and developing some emerging ability or character.
+To see an uncle in your dream, represents some aspect of your family heritage and traits. It may also symbolize new ideas and emerging awareness.
+To dream that you are hugging someone, symbolizes your loving and caring nature. You are holding someone or something close to your heart. Alternatively, it may indicate your need to be more affectionate. ... This dream says alot about me and my current state. I can't take this for granted. Need to fix things. Need to fix myself...

"I never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death
Beyond the walls of intelligence, life is defined" - Nas

Endtroduction

So... who am I and what's my purpose in life?!? well can't answer questions I still ask myself so lets move on.... Who Am I? Young Skin, Wise Mind, Old Soul might describe me the best, but I'm still humble as a mofo and never claimed to be perfect. Interests? Got a love for music that can seem obsesive at times, but can barely remember lyrics to songs, probably coz im getting old. Hip Hop is my first love, but listen to a lot of other things, mainly R&B, Soul, Reggae, Dancehall, some of that Pop & Rock (I aint talkin' Britney & 'em) u hear on the radio, Latin music, some of that Kompa & Zouk (some think I forgot my roots, but can't help it yo, got oversaturated with Coupe Cloue, Missile 727 & 'em as a kid... made me hate it, relearning to appreciate it! gimme some time). 
Love movies, all kinds, but I will critisize the hell out of one too, get on some people's nerves lol, ask my sister! Well not much else to say for now, so will end this with a quote from a song as I intend to do for every message I will end up leaving here. Thanks if ur reading this. 

"Could you believe even my shadow's jealous 
My skin is mad at my flesh, my flesh hates my own bones 
My brain hates my heart, my heart makes the songs 
Though my songs come from the Father I'm lonely... 
Hold me, it's gettin' darker" - Nas