How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 3, No. 7

"And foreva be in debt, that's neva a good thing" - Jay-Z

BIG FAT ZERO!

Holla at ya boy! After 5 years of strugglin', crumblin' under debt (35K$ not counting interest payed throughout the years) imposed on me by these leeches, bitches & so-called family members, drowning in the depth of my darkest thoughts, I am now OFFICIALLY DEBT-FREE.

"I was a dick who got jerked by Tom and his boys
came on my land, seized my cattle, and catalog
as if it wouldn't leave me less than coy
but I'm far from bitter even farther from quittin'
got a grind date to make, no time for sittin'" - De La Soul

Made the last payments today and now this brotha got big zeros on his credit card and credit margin!

"When I woke up, my debt went down
My locks broke up, my rent went down
My stocks went up, my car sped up
My pockets swell up, my life I found
I'm not so fed up it's time to get up
A clear mind switched my life around
Now I can see where the help is at
The health love awareness and wealth is at
Cause I woke up..." - KRS-One

I learned my lesson, no more shall I fall for the "my credit was so pathetic I couldn't afford a debit" lines from anybody. It's all about me now and forever more.

"Give us this day, our daily bread
As we give up our debts
As we forgive our debt-ors
Lead us not into temptation
but deliver us, unevil"

Grind Date fulfilled! Thank you Hip Hop!

Happy New Year! Bonne Année! Feliz Ano Nuevo!

Yes yes, one time for your mind!

Starting the New Year with this song! Jay-Z - 'Roc Boys (And The Winner Is...)'

Wishing you all a Happy New Year filled with Health, Success, Love, Peace & Happiness (With some $$$ on the side!) And may all your Pain be Sham/Pain (Champagne)!

Fresh for 2009... You Suckaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 2, No. 11

"My cousin died [...]
And I still can't let go" - Spice 1

Another birthday you won't get to celebrate
used to always call u 3 days late.
Now u diggin' in heaven's crates
Dancing to another break

Forgive my heart if it's still filled with hate
But what happened to you made me lose faith in fate...

What I take from it all is LIVE life
Appreciate it and spread love, NOT hatred.

"time don't go back, it goes forward
Can't run from the pain, go towards it
Some things can't be explained, what caused it?
Such a beautiful soul, so pure, shit!
Gonna see you again, I'm sure of it
'Til that time, little man I'm nauseous" - Jay-Z

Still got ur voice messages kid! feels good to hear your voice...
Dedicate this song to you : Erykah Badu - 'Telephone'

R.I.P. cuz - George Veildersheen Labranche (1980-2006) aka Vicky

"Save a place for me brother" - Erykah Badu

Hold me down... Some more

"Revenge is a dish best served cold"

Question: Is revenge ever the answer? Is it ever justified? It sure sounds sweet... but what kind of satisfaction would I get from it. Would I be satisfied or fiending for more. Would the remorse, if ever there were any, be overwhelming? How many shoves must one take before reaching the center of his rage? Should I stand and watch, waiting for karma to do it's work or swing my sword at whoever I think deserves a good ol' decapitation.

Hold Me Down some more... It's almost over... Isn't it?

Answer?:
Revenge?
"My heart is racin, tastin revenge in the air I let the shit slide for too many years, too many times
Now I'm strapped with a couple of macs, too many nines
If y'all n****z really wit me get busy load up the semis
Do more than just hold it explode the clip until you empty
There's nothin in our way - they bust, we bust, they rust, we rust

Led flyin, feel it? I feel it in my gut" - Nas

"I ain't a killer but don't push me
Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin pussy
Picture paragraphs unloaded, wise words bein quoted
Peeped the weakness in the rap game and sewed it
Bow down, pray to God hoping that he's listenin
Seein n****z comin for me, to my diamonds, when they glistenin" - Makaveli

or Resilience?

"Patiently meditate, I sense your aura in my presence
Killed so savagely, still there's beauty in your essence (I can feel you) you weren't the last, just the first in a succession
Of the many fallen angels I have known, confession
The pain never goes away, it only lessens
The questions never stop, just learn to live in the present
Resilient I got to be so the next breath don't break me
At peace within myself, so no regrets if they should take me" - Mystic

... Whatever the outcome, still gotta ask the Lord for forgiveness...

"And if you feel in my heart that I long for revenge
Please blame it on the son of the mornin', thanks again" - Jay-Z

Time will tell... Only time can tell... Pt. 2

Something happens when you lose someone you love.
Then, things don't happen anymore because you lost them...

My cousin would have turned 26 today. I won't be able to call him and wish him a happy birthday on the 21st like I used to... for some reason always 3 days late. Won't have anymore 3hr conversations with him about how he thought 2Pac still ruled the hip hop world, while I was building cases for some of my favorite rappers alive. No more talking about break beats I had heard he could probably have sampled to complete the vibe of his latest verse he read out loud. No more discussing movies we just saw and how we would make them a whole lot better by changing the script, actors, location, etc...

No more uplifting each other to act on concepts, ideas & projects that were sitting in the back of each other's minds to make them become reality. No more making him listen to music through my busted phone ("can you hear it now?").
No more sharing of childhood memories of when we were snot-nose kids running around in the backyard or in the park from sun up to sun down. And a whole lot more.
26 yrs old... So much taken away... I wanted to share stories with his kids about how we had it good when we were young. I wanted him to show my kids how to pop & lock, be quickwitted and talk slick. I wonder if... he looks down at us... what is he thinking... will I ever know... He believed in me. And I believed in him. Happy Birthday Vicky! Hope ur celebrating up there with Grandmanman, my godfather Zachary and all of them
RIP - George Veildersheen Labranche (1980-2006) aka Vicky

"When I die, I hope to be A better man than you thought I could be" - Motherlode

"Save a place in heaven 'til the next time we meet forever!" - Jay-Z

"Dear momma don't cry, your baby boy's doin good
Tell the homies I'm in heaven and they ain't got hoods
Seen a show with Marvin Gaye last night, it had me shook
Drinkin peppermint Schnapps, with Jackie Wilson, and Sam Cooke
Then some lady named Billie Holiday Sang
sittin there kickin it with Malcolm, 'til the day came Little LaTasha sho' grown
Tell the lady in the liquor that she's forgiven, so come home
Maybe in time you'll understand only God can save us
When Miles Davis cuttin lose with the band
Just think of all the people that you knew in the past that passed on, they in heaven, found peace at last
Picture a place that they exist, together
There has to be a place better than this, in heaven
So right before I sleep, dear God, what I'm askin
Remember this face, save me a place, in thug's mansion" - 2Pac