How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 3, No. 2 Redux

"Lord help me out
save my soul need to find a new route
[...]
label me what you like
I'm close to my victory
dosed in the fight
when I open my eyes somehow see at night
beyond trying to see what being rich feel like.
6 figure check for my mom for peace
everybody wanna stick on me like leech
take my blood, give fake love
till I turn em down
I'm the one who changed bruh
ask why I don't call
coz when I was starving you wasn't at all
around. now I gotta shut shit down
Be a man pick friends so selective now
You're cool, You're cool, Fuck you
And to the bitch that *scratch* oh yeah fuck you too
Tried to shine now everyone knows
Yeah Kudi slipped up and loved them hoes
we all make mistakes yes,
no worries I just kill a bitch with success
[...]
No bitch on arm
just my words and my stoner charm
and my dimple's deep
I smile at peeps
coz I went out and got what most y'all seek
[...]
God walks with me but I'm still vexed"

This song pretty much describes how I felt writing a previous post and still feel at this moment ( How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 3, No. 2).



Things have been at all time lows in my life in the past 5 years (which explains the title of my blog, couldn't fall any lower so could only fall UP from then on... just in case you didn't get it).

Some people liked me better when I was down there.

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 3, No. 3

hmm... I had to be reminded on 3 occasions that my birthday was coming... I usually react that way when I am not interested in something... I just don't keep it in memory. Well I had no intention on partying or anything, just turned 28, I done celebrated all I had to celebrate so far in my life. Next step should be getting my house and hopefully the girl I will spend the rest of my life with (yes, in that particular order). But with all that happened to me with my past relationships, I have no trust in women and finding it pretty hard to approach anyone that I remotely like.

Something else I gotta work on I guess...

"The girl he wants don't seem to want him too
It seems the feelings that she had are through, through
[...]
He seems alive, though he is feelin blue.
The sun is shinnin man he’s super cool, cool.
[...]
He's all alone, some things will never change
The lonely loner seem to free his mind at night, ah-ah, at nite" - Kid Cudi