How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 5, No. 3

All I do is give and peeps take. I got all I need but nothing I really want. Am I being greedy when I should just be happy?

Maybe I'm just ranting coz I didn't get a single Christmas present this year (that is till my parents hook me up with a lil something when they get back in town...). It shouldn't matter, but I think it kind of hurts deep inside.

"I put my problems in box beside my tightest rhymes
On a lock and key, buried deep of in my mind
And when it gets too full, and I can't close the lid
I spaz on my family and my closest friends
Trade my materials for a peace of mind
Im so close to Heaven, Hell I need some time" - Big K.R.I.T.

I feel like I take alot for granted though others say I'm very thoughtful...

"I'm a fucking walking paradox, no I'm not" - Tyler The Creator

Am I just undermining myself? Over thinking? Feel like this year as been all about work and no play (unless it's family, I'll take time off for the folks that are loyal to me).

"No life, no marriage, no kids... No problem!?!" - Jimmy McNulty 'The Wire'
=D
"Boooy you need something outside of this here [...] A life Jimmy! You know what that is? It's the shit that happens while you're waiting for moments that never come" - Lester Freamon 'The Wire'
:'(

I need a life...

Happy Holidays!

Quotes Vol. 3, No 1

First post of the year... almost 8 months deep already...

Well I'm officially a homeowner, 1200 sq ft of empty space though all to my lonely self

emptiness surrounding me...

"Existing where there is nothing is the meaning of the phrase 'form is emptiness'. That all things are provided by nothingness is the meaning of the phrase 'emptiness is form'. One should not think that these are two separate things." - Hagakure

Don't get me wrong I'm happy of my accomplishment, but damn it's lonely.

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 3, No. 10

I always take time to think about the past, but sometimes it's not volontarily. One word, sound, taste or smell can trigger a memory, good or bad.

This was the case today with the video added below. As I was watching MuchVibe it came up and just blew me away. Brought me back to the days where I was depressed outta my mind... sad times, but happy I overcame them. I just know that if you relate to this song, you should seek help ASAP, whether it be talking to a friend, a family member, a professional therapist or a suicide/depression hotline. The deeper you fall into it, the harder it is to get out of it. Let's all rise!

Mood music, take a look :



Keep your chin up!
Peace!

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 3, No. 9

"You know what I really wanna know?
Where do all the good girls go
What clubs they hang in?
[...]
Candy-coated unicorns are quite hard to find
The classic lady, a rare breed indeed
Is that make and model discontinued?
[...]
You're not extra, you're so plain Jane
The yin to my yang, darlin'
You've got that thang and you know it
But yet you don't and that's what's so cool
You don't say too much, but when you do it's profound
In the street you hold your head high
At home you get low down for me
[...]
Sad, but one day our kids will have to visit museums
To see what a lady looks like
So if you find one, I beg you, hold her tight
If you spot one, good sir, treat her right
This is Benjamin Andre signing off
Thanks a million
Good luck and goodnight" - Outkast

... Still can't find her... so... to those generic girls that think they are special because their mamas told 'em so walking around with inflated egos I says :

"She wants to be my lady but I don't see her
She wants to be my lady but I'm a free bird
I gotta be by myself, gotta be by myself this time
I gotta fly by myself, go get high by myself this time" - Asher Roth

Nuff said.

P.S.: I don't get high unless it's with good music... lame huh? lol :'(

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 3, No. 3

hmm... I had to be reminded on 3 occasions that my birthday was coming... I usually react that way when I am not interested in something... I just don't keep it in memory. Well I had no intention on partying or anything, just turned 28, I done celebrated all I had to celebrate so far in my life. Next step should be getting my house and hopefully the girl I will spend the rest of my life with (yes, in that particular order). But with all that happened to me with my past relationships, I have no trust in women and finding it pretty hard to approach anyone that I remotely like.

Something else I gotta work on I guess...

"The girl he wants don't seem to want him too
It seems the feelings that she had are through, through
[...]
He seems alive, though he is feelin blue.
The sun is shinnin man he’s super cool, cool.
[...]
He's all alone, some things will never change
The lonely loner seem to free his mind at night, ah-ah, at nite" - Kid Cudi