How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 5, No. 2

Met a girl...

"Developing a name, creepin to fame
She quick to trade her vagina for a seat at the game
And its so foul she don’t see the shame
In the act or the fact that she view it as an equal exchange
She stay with the newest on, louis vuitton
Buying groceries with coupons, sleeping on a futon
No self-esteem to cover her lack of confidence
She get on twitter retweetin’ all the compliments
Pretty face, nice strut with a nice butt
Disguise of a slut only tryin to get wifed up
But when its party time she won’t be a second late
Once she leaves V.I.P. its back home to section eight
What confused me
Is niggas tried to kick it, but she come across bougie
In her best friends jewelry, part-time mother
But something real shady when her 2 year old daughter
Much closer to the babysitter
Cry when she alone, product of a broke down home
Won’t change cause she already grown
Already set in her ways no need in tryin to help
Cause she rather find wealth before she can find herself" - Joe Budden

Though she doesn't fit the profile 100%, this song most def opened my eyes as to who she might be... Now tell me why I went and still fell in love... And I can't get her out of my mind...

Though we never actually got past a friendship

"bumpin Ludacris, 'Child Of The Night' was well put
why is everything so BAD for me FEEL so GOOOOODDDD" - Joe Budden

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 3, No. 9

"You know what I really wanna know?
Where do all the good girls go
What clubs they hang in?
[...]
Candy-coated unicorns are quite hard to find
The classic lady, a rare breed indeed
Is that make and model discontinued?
[...]
You're not extra, you're so plain Jane
The yin to my yang, darlin'
You've got that thang and you know it
But yet you don't and that's what's so cool
You don't say too much, but when you do it's profound
In the street you hold your head high
At home you get low down for me
[...]
Sad, but one day our kids will have to visit museums
To see what a lady looks like
So if you find one, I beg you, hold her tight
If you spot one, good sir, treat her right
This is Benjamin Andre signing off
Thanks a million
Good luck and goodnight" - Outkast

... Still can't find her... so... to those generic girls that think they are special because their mamas told 'em so walking around with inflated egos I says :

"She wants to be my lady but I don't see her
She wants to be my lady but I'm a free bird
I gotta be by myself, gotta be by myself this time
I gotta fly by myself, go get high by myself this time" - Asher Roth

Nuff said.

P.S.: I don't get high unless it's with good music... lame huh? lol :'(

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 3, No. 8

"You’re the first thing I would choose,
but the last thing I need.
Girl I’m stuck on you,
it’s so hard to set me free.
You’re the first thing I would choose,
but the last thing I need.
You’re a liar." - Madcon

I watched these videos (below) and it made me think about my past relationships... Made me realize that I have had good moments(still all overshadowed by the worst moments!), but no great relationships. In all of them I have either been cheated (on), lied to and/or taken adventage of... but they all said that I was a great guy at some point... One even went to the extent of lying about her life just to make herself sound more interesting to me... I fell for it... hmmmm...

"You was cheatin' (yes you was), caught you creepin' (yes I did)
To the window, to the wall, skeet-skeetin' (you triflin' hoe)" - Percy Miracles (aka Phonte)

Might as well laugh about it...

Part 1



Part 2



It feels weird sometimes when you fully understand how someone feels when u watch television, especially when it's not comedy or someone expressing views on subjects like politics... but when u watch someone and simply understand the raw feelings without having them verbally expressing it.

That's what u get when you're a sucka 4 love!

"Don't it seem like shit be cool for a month and a half
All of a sudden you frontin' and showin your ass
Complainin' bout what you got
Shorty look what you had
Before me, it was pull-out couches and Bilitant bags
Now she mad cause she ain't got a T.V. in her Jag
I tell you what if that ain't good enough get back on the bus
Give up the princess cuts and the Prada and stuff
I take you out to eat and you order a bottle of what?
Ungrateful wonderin' why I'm not faithful
Ballin's all good but this shit is just wasteful
Want me to pay your bills
Help you get a bigger crib
Shorty I don't mind helpin'
But show some initiative
Ain't brought nothin' to the table but hard times and heartache
Do something, get on the grind for God's sake
A reminder, rewind this message from your highness
For those that chose to take my kindness for blindness" - T.I.

Damn she's ungrateful

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 3, No. 3

hmm... I had to be reminded on 3 occasions that my birthday was coming... I usually react that way when I am not interested in something... I just don't keep it in memory. Well I had no intention on partying or anything, just turned 28, I done celebrated all I had to celebrate so far in my life. Next step should be getting my house and hopefully the girl I will spend the rest of my life with (yes, in that particular order). But with all that happened to me with my past relationships, I have no trust in women and finding it pretty hard to approach anyone that I remotely like.

Something else I gotta work on I guess...

"The girl he wants don't seem to want him too
It seems the feelings that she had are through, through
[...]
He seems alive, though he is feelin blue.
The sun is shinnin man he’s super cool, cool.
[...]
He's all alone, some things will never change
The lonely loner seem to free his mind at night, ah-ah, at nite" - Kid Cudi

New Music : 808s & Heartbreaks

Got that new Kanye on tuesday. Opened the package, which came with a poster of him in the extra medium suit lol, but it got deep when I turned the poster around as you see him standing next to his mother while giving her a kiss on the cheek... (moment of silence). I gotta admit I'm a bit puzzled by Kanye's new album, but I'm all ears. Been listening for 3 days now... Dude's been hurt, something fierce. I've been there at some point(s) in my life so I'm feeling what he's singing about... though in a way I kinda wish I never knew what it felt like. For sure, this Kanye album is not for everybody, because it's either you relate or you don't. Those who don't relate are either too young or the "still lucky, for the moment, people" that never had to endure a broken heart, the pain, the loss or simply that "one" (out of many) paranoid girlfriend that goes through ur call list on ur cellphone everytime u got ur back turned.

As you get deeper into this album, you realize this is also the story of a guy who from the outside seems to have it "all", but explains to us his dilemna : "my friend showed me pictures of his kids, and all I could show him was pictures of my cribs"... Luther done told us a house is not a Home.

This said, say you will tell everybody that you know how amazing this album is. This one goes out to those that have a broken heart and sends a message to the heartless. Start picking up the pieces and keep ur love locked down coz this could be the coldest winter yet. Spread the bad news but don't be paranoid it's not like Robocop is hiding under broken street lights waiting to get you like I see in my nightmares. True story, don't u dare call me Pinocchio. Welcome to Heartbreak! (well this was a failed attempt at putting all the song titles into coherent phrases... bleh)

Right now I got the first track on repeat ('Say You Will'), I'm a music fiend.

"moments passing in front of me [...] I know my destination, but I'm just not there" - Kanye West

Happily Ever After...

This video gives me hope that real love and the concept of living old like this still exists.

I like his comment : "Is that all there is to it?" He's giving the play by play like it's nothing. I've seen kids coming off this type of ride practically crying. They're great! Can only hope to find a woman like that and live my life to the fullest with her.

Makings of the "Perfect Chick"... Defined by Lyrics

You know those chats we have sometimes when we talk about which chick we would rather be with (TLC & Destiny's Child had our imaginations flowing). Ghostface Killah had a whole skit on his Supreme Clientele album going back and forth with his crew (Kim or Fox, Eve or Da Brat, Missy or Bahamadia, Naomi or Tyra, Nia or Halle...lol funny as hell).

Knowing I might not get a chance to hook up with Halle or Alicia Keys and ask her to marry me (unless I get passed security when she comes here in June), here is my list of lyrics that make up the perfect chick.

She has to be real :

"Its been a while, I can't front like I ain't phased
She was my reality check, cuz we the same age
I mean she put on a show that you CAN'T stage
She made the shit sound effortless" - Joe Budden

be naturally sexy :

"I'm the type of guy that notice subtle signs
When I cuddle mine, she ain't even tryin
To look sexy, but even if she was so what" - Outkast

She has to be able to generate her own cash coz u know how it is "You can have anything in this world except CREAM" lol :

"I-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t do you know what that mean
She got to her own house
She got her own car
Two jobs work hard you a bad broad
If you aint on sit down" - Webbie (yeah that ugly mofo... but this hook describes what I mean)

A nice complexion, but color ain't an issue as long as she doesn't have an issue with it (even Captain Kirk bagged a nice green skinned chick!) :

"French-vanilla, butter-pecan, chocolate-deluxe
Even caramel sundaes is gettin touched
And scooped in my ice cream truck, Wu tears it up" - Method Man

"I don't discriminate, I regulate every shade of the a$$" - Big Pun

a bit of self-sacrifice in her loyalty :

"And if the rain stops
And everything's dry
She would cry
Just so I can drink the tears from her eyes" - Lupe Fiasco

(To be updated...)

They threw a party for me!!!

June 17th... More than a month after my birthday, friends & family threw a surprise party for me. That was the Illest thing they could have done for me coz they really caught me good. No joke. Look on my face was priceless from what they say. It's one thing to know ur loved by some. But it's another when you get proof of that love when you never asked for it coz you never doubted it for one second. I'll remember this for the rest of my life. Wish you could be there.

"I think we at a all-time high
To get there, we run, we fly, we drive
Cause with my family we know we're home
And so instead of sendin flowers, we the roses" - Kanye West

"But if I fall asleep and death takes me away
Don't be surprised son, I wasn't put here to stay
At night the evil armies of Shaton don't play
So the family sticks together and we never betray" - Fugees