Happy New Year! Bonne Année! Feliz Ano Nuevo!

Yes yes, one time for your mind!

Starting the New Year with this song! Jay-Z - 'Roc Boys (And The Winner Is...)'

Wishing you all a Happy New Year filled with Health, Success, Love, Peace & Happiness (With some $$$ on the side!) And may all your Pain be Sham/Pain (Champagne)!

Fresh for 2009... You Suckaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!

10 Good "Mainstream" God Songs - Warning Curses Applicable [PLAYLIST]

Here is another playlist I came up with on Aug 26, 2007. Was going through a lot of things that had me focused on talking with God and requiring his guidance. So besides praying, I also, as always, turned to music. And God knows I can't stand that christian hip hop, no flava and I always thought humans in general aren't without flaw and have more than God at heart. So I leaned my ear towards people I could relate to better and I know most of them aren't angels, but it feels good to see they have that light shining in them even for the slightest moment. Oh and the songs are good! Peace!

1. Sticky Fingaz - Oh My God [Universal]
2. Johnny Cash - God's Gonna Cut You Down [?]
3. Jay-Z - Lucifer [Def Jam]
4. Stevie Wonder - Have A Talk With God [?]
5. Coldplay - God Put A Smile Upon Your Face [?]
6. Nas - Heaven ft. Jully Black [Columbia]
7. Lauryn Hill - Forgive Them Father [?]
8. Kanye West - Jesus Walks [Def Jam]
9. Damian Marley - There For You [?]
10. Marvin Gaye - God Is Love [?]

"People let me paint a picture
You know I ain't a christian
I ain't a muslim, ain't a jew
I'm losing my religion
I speak to god directly
I know my god respect me
Cause he let me breathe his air and he really blessed me" - Talib Kweli

New Music : The Old Prince

Spent a couple of days in Petawawa (it's ok to laugh at the name) at a friend's house and we then drove to Borden to chill at the mall. Bought 3 albums and a movie : Common's 'Universal Mind Control (UMC)', Q-Tip's 'The Renaissance', Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (classic movie) & Shad's 'The Old Prince'. Now I gotta say I took a chance and bought Shad's album off of hearing 2-3 tracks, actually videos I saw on MuchVibe. Since it's pretty hard to find album's from Toronto artists in Montreal, I thought I would support and take a chance.

Now I never was disappointed by a Common album in the past... but UMC was a let down coz when it was said that Common was a Hip Hop sex symbol, he took it to heart and this album is a result of that (see 'Sex 4 Suga'). Q-Tip's album is pretty tight though ('Gettin' Up' is probably the feel good anthem of the year, finally a song about a positive relationship for a change). But the real surprise was Shad's album. It's the type of album the 'College Dropout' was when it first came out, a great album (lyrics, production), but simply greater because you could relate to it because it was a human being on the mic. A man that loved Jesus, sex, women, money, cars, his mom and family and was also fed up with school (not necessarily in that order). Shad has that common man appeal and is realistic in his rhymes. In a feel good way, 'The Old Prince Still Lives At Home' song is the anti-T.I. joint ('You Can Have Whatever You Like') and more relevant in these economic times, heck he even tells you he couldn't afford the whole beat! I seriously recommend it. Peace!

Check out the review on RapReviews.com, here's a snippet :

"The concept of "The Old Prince" is one that we can all relate to and understand. To sum it up, princes aren't supposed to be old because they are supposed to become kings before they become old. Applied universally, the idea is that we all want to do great things and as times passes we become impatient and begin to wonder whether our time has passed. Shad's album captures his own conflict with the idea of being an old prince."

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 2, No. 11

"My cousin died [...]
And I still can't let go" - Spice 1

Another birthday you won't get to celebrate
used to always call u 3 days late.
Now u diggin' in heaven's crates
Dancing to another break

Forgive my heart if it's still filled with hate
But what happened to you made me lose faith in fate...

What I take from it all is LIVE life
Appreciate it and spread love, NOT hatred.

"time don't go back, it goes forward
Can't run from the pain, go towards it
Some things can't be explained, what caused it?
Such a beautiful soul, so pure, shit!
Gonna see you again, I'm sure of it
'Til that time, little man I'm nauseous" - Jay-Z

Still got ur voice messages kid! feels good to hear your voice...
Dedicate this song to you : Erykah Badu - 'Telephone'

R.I.P. cuz - George Veildersheen Labranche (1980-2006) aka Vicky

"Save a place for me brother" - Erykah Badu

Quotes Vol. 1, No. 2

"Regardless of the situation, a warrior should remain determined to win and should always be the first to advance." - quote from The Hagakure (D.E. Tarver edition)

Must abide by this quote for the next 4 months.

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 2, No. 10

"A warrior should always set his mind on the highest goals in all that he does." - quote from The Hagakure (D.E. Tarver edition)

Yesterday got one of the most important calls in my life as it could help further my career. If I get this I'm good, set! Have to keep focused!

"I'm still waitin' on that one phone call
That one conversation that can change it all
I'm tryin' to get me a deal, I'm tryin' to get it and chill
If I can make a mil', all my problems'll be solved
Give me a chance to make it work
So much at stake, it hurts
Gotta stay alert
If I miss my one shot, my chances'll be gone
I can't leave it alone" - Danny!

Alignment

Found this picture online... (click on it to see it clearly) got me wondering when would be the best time to practice my Wu style Tai Chi... Yeah a brotha doing Tai Chi, would u rather me playing basketball like the stereotype wants it? Heck I suck at b-ball. It's all about aligning ur Chi baby. Though I'm not a master... yet. Still only 30 forms into the full 108... Patience.

"We use Tai Chi to deflect off our enemy
Five poisons, from the Clan there's no Remedy" - Rza

10 Sexy Voices On Track (Now & Then) [PLAYLIST]

Here is a playlist I came up with on Oct 13, 2007. Some of the sexiest voices on songs I got, real mood starters ;). Though I know there's some more out there.

1. Minnie Riperton - Inside My Love [EMI Records]
2. Floetry - Getting Late [Dreamworks SKG]
3. Diana Ross - Love Hangover [Motown Records]
4. Alicia Keys - Butterflyz [J Records]
5. Susana Baca - La Macorina [Luaka]
6. Truth Hurts - Ready Now [Pookie Entertainment]
7. Corinne Bailey Rae - Like A Star [Capitol/EMI Records]
8. Jill Scott - Easy Conversation [MCA Records]
9. Amy Winehouse - Love Is A Losing Game [Universal Republic]
10. Janet Jackson - Would You Mind [Virgin Records]

Nothing better than a woman with a sexy voice, I'm a real sucker for those.

"Sexy noises turn me on and on
Talk to me and you can't go wrong
I love the sound of your voice when you make love to me" - Salt-N-Pepa

Music Inspires Music

Man, I love it when I see something or someone and a song pops up in my head, or when I hear a song and try to find out where the sample came from or which other artist used it. It all gets my mind running all over the place and can't really focus until I find and listen to that one song I'm looking for... or until I forget about it...

Those moments sometimes give me a fresh take on a song I already heard either by seeing how it could have inspired someone else, or how much more I should appreciate a specific song.

This dude here went bananas and did a piano cover of Nas's Untitled album...

Made me want to listen to the whole album again (which I am doing right now... WTF do u mean u didn't listen to it yet???? COP THAT ALBUM!!!). Also makes me want to learn to play the piano, I should really look into it... even though I don't have one at home... I need another hobby that will keep me focused and enrich my mind.

"Music is supposed to inspire" - Lauryn Hill

"Save the music y'all" - Nas

New Music : 808s & Heartbreaks

Got that new Kanye on tuesday. Opened the package, which came with a poster of him in the extra medium suit lol, but it got deep when I turned the poster around as you see him standing next to his mother while giving her a kiss on the cheek... (moment of silence). I gotta admit I'm a bit puzzled by Kanye's new album, but I'm all ears. Been listening for 3 days now... Dude's been hurt, something fierce. I've been there at some point(s) in my life so I'm feeling what he's singing about... though in a way I kinda wish I never knew what it felt like. For sure, this Kanye album is not for everybody, because it's either you relate or you don't. Those who don't relate are either too young or the "still lucky, for the moment, people" that never had to endure a broken heart, the pain, the loss or simply that "one" (out of many) paranoid girlfriend that goes through ur call list on ur cellphone everytime u got ur back turned.

As you get deeper into this album, you realize this is also the story of a guy who from the outside seems to have it "all", but explains to us his dilemna : "my friend showed me pictures of his kids, and all I could show him was pictures of my cribs"... Luther done told us a house is not a Home.

This said, say you will tell everybody that you know how amazing this album is. This one goes out to those that have a broken heart and sends a message to the heartless. Start picking up the pieces and keep ur love locked down coz this could be the coldest winter yet. Spread the bad news but don't be paranoid it's not like Robocop is hiding under broken street lights waiting to get you like I see in my nightmares. True story, don't u dare call me Pinocchio. Welcome to Heartbreak! (well this was a failed attempt at putting all the song titles into coherent phrases... bleh)

Right now I got the first track on repeat ('Say You Will'), I'm a music fiend.

"moments passing in front of me [...] I know my destination, but I'm just not there" - Kanye West

Say Word!

Who would have thought I would have kept this old book of rhymes... which sucked for the most part, but this one here is deep:

The day the sun & the moon met
They kept us all in the dark
Blinding passion, can't help but watch
Throw you off balance then its gone
Years again before they meet again
Relive a passion that comes and leaves again
That passes but that never ends
Sometimes in the same picture
Panoramic far away here comes the day
Opposite sides of the spectrum
Just to show us the way
Night & Day
No Play
-22-02-05

Didn't end it well though, but y'all get the whole concept right, day & night, meet every some years like a solar eclipse which causes darkness... I was ahead of my time... Sign me.

Music Makes Me High

I'm in a Bossa Nova listening mood at 6am so started dowloading 6 volumes of Bossa Nova compilations... bit extreme? I'm a fiend I tell u. As I listen to it, eyes closed, I can see myself in the future enjoying it slouched on a nice couch in my very own house. And man that feels good... taking glimpses into the future for a change that is... oh and the music too.

Maybe I should get back to learning portuguese...

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 2, No. 9

"Yesterday was better off, didn't even know it" - Joe Budden

Yesterday I found a card that my godfather had sent me for christmas. It brought back some sweet memories... My greatest fear has always been to forget and as I get older... 27... er yeah... I tend to reminisce a lot on the past these days. Flashbacks are starting to ressurface at the oddest moments. Smells, words, songs, colours, voices just seem to trigger it all and then I zone out...

"Wow, I need a moment y'all
See I almost felt a tear drop" - Nas

I'm starting to think it can't be healthy for me to live in the past, but how do I embrace it without being obsessed with it... I'm a fiend, everything I like, I end up doing in excess... That's why I knew better than to try drugs... yeah I know, people still have a hard time believing that I never even had a puff before... in this day and age...

"Yesterday belongs to the dead
Tomorrow belongs to the living
The past is certified as a finished product
Anything which has ended is finished
That which is perfect is finished" - Madlib

Maybe that's it... Maybe I was born in the wrong age, maybe that's why I often feel like I don't always fit here... now. Maybe it would explain that I sometimes feel out of sync with most people my age... or maybe it's just me...

"I ask myself what does it mean if you are different
but I am the answer" - Charles Hamilton

I guess I will have to find a just balance between past, present and future...
Keeping the wisdom & memories of the past, living in the present & planning and looking forward to my future... now if I could just get that living in the present part to work out...

"memories dont live like people do
They always 'member you
Whether things are good or bad
Its just the memories that you have
The beenie man a sing (say hey)
Boy stop live down inna de past
Just member when man a ride 'orse
Now yuh dead that mean yuh soul lost" - Beenie Man

Well one day, as I was thinking of the past and the influential people in my life that passed away, I wasted a part of my present, at the time, to make this little bootleg montage...

Hope you can find the time to put a comment...

Fade to 'T.R.O.Y.' by Pete Rock & CL Smooth....

Quotes Vol. 1, No. 1

Quote I fell upon on the IMDB website.

Comes from the following movie : 'In A Lonely Place' (1950)

"I was born when she kissed me. I died when she left me. I lived a few weeks while she loved me."

Tell me that's not DEEP! Ah ah, fire!

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 2, No. 8

...

"Can we please have a moment of silence?
[...]
As days goes and nights fall
For the rest of our life we'll miss y'all
And even though life must go on, we'll still mourn
While wishin' y'all were home
[...]
And can we please have a moment of truth?
For soldiers and troops away with helmets and boots
And families back home who pray they make it home safe
Hopin' that they don't get hit with a stray or missiles
This is just a moment to let you all know that we miss you" - Nas

Might not be agreeing with the cause, but I respect the job.

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 2, No. 7

"I feel like I'm ahead of my time, like I'm ahead lets rewind
I feel like I've never felt feel like I'm ahead of my prime
I feel like my feelings feel like they maybe feel intertwined
'tween incognito and shine I'm being caught in the lime
feel like I'm stuck in a fight when the future ain't feelin bright
I put the pencil down, feeling unwanted, and go on strike
but then I'm struck by the light that ain't how you properly strike
but the ball be over the plate and they still don't call it a strike
I mean I honestly try, I feel like I try in vain
start doin a lil different shit always just stay the same
there's a good in every bad when there's loss I know there's gain
I appreciate the love but I'm living with all the pain
I hate when the sun is out, but love whenever it rains
and God be sending me signs like my future is preordained
my timing keep gettin fucked, the wires still havent came
and all I do is object but my shit ain't never sustained
wonder if I keep on trying then will I finally attain
wonder if I'll ever feel like I got nobody to blame, MAYNE!
[...]
I told mommy when I was five that I would strive to be a lawyer
or a doctor took the opt. to hangin out with the mobsters
now he's a hip hop'sta, no more general Tso's
orderin shrimp and lobster mommy look at how I prospered
look at what I've become but still I feel like a bum
emotional strain can't be replaced by any sum
emotionally drained, insides prolly look like a slum
just give me a bag of weed, just give me a shot of rum
no better yet give me none, no mommy I won't succumb
not that- almost forgot I stopped that when I was young
some people do it for pleasure some people do it for fun
but I remember it well, that dust used to have 'em strung
I wonder what I've become or why am I overlooked
I want 'em to understand but still I'm misunderstood
I keep on taking suggestions I'm wondering if I should
I know you see the potential, I know you see that I could" - Joe Budden

"What would I do...
if I could reach inside of me...
and to know how it feels to say...
I like what I see?" - Nipsey Russell

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 2, No. 6

wow

Well on this great night, I saw something I never expected to see in MY lifetime. This is one for the books as History is still being written and I am proud to say I was a Witness. I will talk of this moment for years to come.

"If I could find the spot where truth echoes
I would stand there and whisper memories of my children's future
I would let their future dwell in my past
so that I might live a brighter now" - Saul Williams

The moment where the house filled up with my father's loud claims of victory running down two sets of stairs arms in the air to shake us up. The moment I turned my sight away from the tv screen with a large smile and faced him and saw a tear come down from his right eye. Eyes red from the sleep he deprived himself of just to see it all happen. The moment a black man was elected president in another country and how it meant so much to us.

"Here I go again, the same old shit
My mind is still playing tricks
Cause today when I left my residence
I heard we had a new black president
And he wasn't no Uncle Tom
Rudy poo stankin' fetch house n!gga scum
And white folks wasn't planning to murder him kid
Cause they voted for him just like the blacks did
And this might sound reckless
But I got a loan on a brand new Lexus in Texas
If I'm lying I'm dying, everybody was color blind
Went to church and I gotta admit
Walked in, didn't see one hypocrite
It appeared every single soul was reached
Cause the pastor practiced what he preached" - Willie D

I just pinched myself and I wasn't dreaming!

"Some dreams stay dreams, some dreams come true" - Nas

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 2, No. 5

Hot dang, this whole election got me excited. Anxious to see the final results.

"C'mon now, make it happen, make it happen" - Big Daddy Kane

"Yeah I'm afraid, like I'm scared as a dog
But I've got a new song, and I want y'all to sang alooooooong
Sang aloooooooooong..
See this is the way that we walk on a sunny, day
when it's rainin inside and you're, all alooooooooone
All aloooooooooone - yeah!
Cause the whole, world, loves it when you don't get down
(Bah bah-da, bah bah bah-da da)
And the whole, world, loves it when you make that sound
(Bah bah-da, bah bah bah-da da)
And the whole, world, loves it when you're in the news
(Bah bah-da, bah bah bah-da da)
And the whole, world, loves it when you sang the blues
(Bah bah-da, bah bah bah-da da)" - Outkast

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 2, No. 4

"The country's headed for recession reminiscent of the Great Depression
Are lives worth a world of power? Easy question" - Mr. Lif

The recession is creeping up north of the border, don't close ur eyes. It's time to start saving what u can!

"Ignorance is venemous, and it murders the soul
Spreading like a virus running rampant, but out of control"

I know the word of the day is Hustling, but please keep it legit.

"look, my n!gga Al had a store in his trunk
and the place under the dash where he store his pump
he had them white on white 'Air Force Ones' for 40 ($)
and them iddy-biddy-kiddy ones for shorty
he was just trying to survive the recession
now he's locked up for stolen goods and gun posession" - Masta Ace

It's hard seeing how some of our hard earned money is being spent especially in these hard times.

"President Bush will bring us out of this recession
We'll all have jobs when American numbers are lessened
Blessings are said, so no one will get hurt
Yo - I need a Shield, but it's not for the Desert
It's a shield for the ills that builds 
with this rampant nationalization; we're not dealin in humanism
P.O.W.'s, M.I.A.'s unknown soldiers in unknown graves
Let's bring 'em home safe" - 3rd Base

Keep your chins up, coz in the end it's mostly about money, don't forget family is the real fortune!

"At night the evil armies of Shaton don't play
So the family stick together and we never betray." - Fugees

Peace!

10 Songs To Jog To [PLAYLIST]

Here is a playlist I came up with on Oct 8, 2008. Some good music to jog to. Give these songs a try and tell me what you think about it or which ones you would prefer.

Jogging Tracks

1. Gnarls Barkley - Going On [Downtown/Warner]
2. DJ Khaled - We Takin' Over [Koch]
3. Puff Daddy - Victory ft. Notorious B.I.G. & Busta Rhymes [Bad Boy]
4. Nas - One Strong Love (The DJStrong Mix) [Ill Will/Columbia]
5. Obie Trice - Cry Now [Shady]
6. Ghostface Killah - Run ft. Jadakiss [Def Jam]
7. Kanye West - Stronger [GOOD Music]
8. The Game - Compton ft. Will.I.Am [Geffen]
9. Outkast - B.O.B. (Bombs Over Baghad) [Laface/Zomba]
10. Eric B & Rakim - Juice (Know the Ledge) [MCA]

Run!

"Check the monologue, I'm on a 6 a.m. jog
To regain my powers, do a set before the showers
I'm prime for the summertime" - CL Smooth

"Well, seven in the morning I woke up to jog
Rushed out the door to inhale the smog" - KRS-One

"Your ass forgot, so just in case you don't remember me
I'll run your brain around the block to jog your f*cking memory" - Eminem

Happily Ever After...

This video gives me hope that real love and the concept of living old like this still exists.

I like his comment : "Is that all there is to it?" He's giving the play by play like it's nothing. I've seen kids coming off this type of ride practically crying. They're great! Can only hope to find a woman like that and live my life to the fullest with her.

Training Progress Vol. 1 No. 001

On Sunday Oct. 12 2008

Not much of a workout!

bench press : 3 sets of 95lbs (2 sets of 5 reps each, 3rd set was 8 reps)

1 set of 50 crunches

1 set of 20 push-ups

Weighed in at 140lbs, 15.3% of fat, 65% water weight & 46% muscle mass.

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 2, No. 3

I'm out!

Short playlist and a quote :

Gnarls Barkley - 'Going On'
Nas - 'Live Now'
Will Smith - 'Miami'
Rick Ross - 'Husslin'
Wyclef Jean - 'Party By The Sea'
Jay-Z - 'Big Pimpin'

"Live now n!ggaz, there's no promise of a second time around, put it down
We'll just live now, there's no reason why you shouldn't, everything is up to you
All you gotta do is just, live now, we spending
Not under the ground yet, we enjoying every second yo
Live now, don't forget to bro, yeah
cause I promise you you'll regret it bro" - Nas

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 2, No. 2

It's Obama's time! The Evolution will be televised!

"They said this day would never come" - Obama

I have great hope to see him make it and change the face of the USA, has hard a job it will be.

"I'm out for presidents to represent me" - Nas

"If I was President, 
I'd get elected on Friday, 
Assasinated on Saturday, 
Burried on Sunday. Then go back to work on Monday" - Wyclef

They might try, but they won't get him. People keep making jokes about assassinations, nothing funny about it because if "He dies we die too" - Nas

"And though it seems heaven sent
We ain't ready, to have a black President, uhh" - 2Pac

"Something is holding me back, Is it because I'm black?" - Syl Johnson


A message To All the detractors, black & white:

"Yes We Can"

Makings of the "Perfect Chick"... Defined by Lyrics

You know those chats we have sometimes when we talk about which chick we would rather be with (TLC & Destiny's Child had our imaginations flowing). Ghostface Killah had a whole skit on his Supreme Clientele album going back and forth with his crew (Kim or Fox, Eve or Da Brat, Missy or Bahamadia, Naomi or Tyra, Nia or Halle...lol funny as hell).

Knowing I might not get a chance to hook up with Halle or Alicia Keys and ask her to marry me (unless I get passed security when she comes here in June), here is my list of lyrics that make up the perfect chick.

She has to be real :

"Its been a while, I can't front like I ain't phased
She was my reality check, cuz we the same age
I mean she put on a show that you CAN'T stage
She made the shit sound effortless" - Joe Budden

be naturally sexy :

"I'm the type of guy that notice subtle signs
When I cuddle mine, she ain't even tryin
To look sexy, but even if she was so what" - Outkast

She has to be able to generate her own cash coz u know how it is "You can have anything in this world except CREAM" lol :

"I-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t do you know what that mean
She got to her own house
She got her own car
Two jobs work hard you a bad broad
If you aint on sit down" - Webbie (yeah that ugly mofo... but this hook describes what I mean)

A nice complexion, but color ain't an issue as long as she doesn't have an issue with it (even Captain Kirk bagged a nice green skinned chick!) :

"French-vanilla, butter-pecan, chocolate-deluxe
Even caramel sundaes is gettin touched
And scooped in my ice cream truck, Wu tears it up" - Method Man

"I don't discriminate, I regulate every shade of the a$$" - Big Pun

a bit of self-sacrifice in her loyalty :

"And if the rain stops
And everything's dry
She would cry
Just so I can drink the tears from her eyes" - Lupe Fiasco

(To be updated...)

How I feel... Defined by Lyrics Vol. 2, No. 1

"I'd cry, if I thought, that me sheddin' a tear might help
Then again, me sheddin' tears don't help" - Scarface

Man... Can we talk about balance in this world?

When ur down it seems like everybody else is in high spirits floating around problem-free. And then when you finally make it to the surface for that long awaited breath of air you've been aiming for all this time, while you were dweling in the endless depths of an ocean of problems, you peek and notice everybody else is drowning.

You take another breath and plunge back in to reach out to them... It's just that sometimes u get dragged back down with them... They can't tell up from down. You try and shout at them to tell them to stay calm but ur voice doesn't carry out. Do you let go and convince urself... 'One day they will learn'

"You've got to realize that the world's a test
You can only do your best and let Him do the rest
You've got your life, and got your health
So quit procrastinatin and push it yourself" - Cee-Lo

or do you hang on knowing you might not make it out as well.

"And you can picture thoughts slowly upon phrases I run
And I can walk you through the days that are done
I often wish that I could save everyone
But I'm a dreamer
Have you ever seen a n!gga who was strong in the game
Overlookin his tomorrows and they finally came?" - Scarface


I know I will be holding on as long as I can. Hope you understand
...Nah... It can't be that deep. It's not that dramatic. It's just a thought...

I think I might have been helpful to some but I know many more have been a guiding light to me.

To all my people presently in a struggle, I'm not giving up on y'all, I'm still here and will remain here. Can't fight your fights, but I sure as hell will be in your corner supporting you.

Stay strong! Stay focused! Chin up! Hands high! Face what you have to face, no masquerades!

"Put some Henny up in your cup, your problems will start to drown
But soon as your buzz leaves, then problems come back around" - Chamillionaire

And for those who believe in something greater then them out there :

"I pray for everbody, hopin' that they hear that voice
The one that paralyzes you from head down, boy
When you're aware of your surroundings, yet you still can't move
Water shootin' outta your eyes you hear this dude
And the voice is much louder, than the voice that you
thought was the voice of the holy spirit
Who changed your life, when you hear it?
And the next morn', you wake up and the world look lighter
The grass greener, and the sun brighter
I know the feelin' first hand, I witnessed the sights
When I allowed the Lord to come in my life
And it was like (heaven, heaven...)
But I'm a man, I ain't perfect
That's a poor excuse, that ain't workin'
I asked him for forgiveness, for every sin I commit
Hopefully he gonna let me stay on his list
I'm tryin' to get to heaven.." - Scarface

You're going to make it to the surface. Just keep in mind that the struggle is necessary.